A to Z after entry (matchmaking to dating)
Table of contents
1. Process before starting activities
When will I get my ID and password?
Have my preparations for starting been completed?
Will you confirm my payment is received?
2. Searching for a matching partner
Let’s use “member search!”
*Frequently asked questions and things to note!!*
3. Decide the matchmaking date/time and location!
4. Go to your matchmaking meeting!
About personal grooming
Matchmaking process
*Things to pay attention to on the day of the matchmaking meeting
5. After your matchmaking meeting
Matchmaking meeting results report
6. If you start dating
7. Start dating!
What is pre-dating and serious dating?
8. The correct way to proceed with matchmaking
9. Cases where a penalty may be incurred, and how to pay it
(Case 1) If you cancel the matchmaking once it is already established
(Case 2) If you cancel the matchmaking on the day of the meeting
(Case 3) If you cancel the dating without going on any dates once it has been agreed
(Case 4) If you decide to take a break or withdraw despite having a scheduled matchmaking meeting or being in the dating phase.
(Case 5) When it is determined, after mid-term withdrawal, that the success conditions were met
About the method of paying the penalty
10. Other Important Notes
1. Process before starting activities
When will I get my ID and password?
If you have submitted the necessary documents by the submission date and made payment
the login ID and password will be sent to you by email by around 12:00 on the day your activities start.
We start manually processing the activities from 11:00, so it may take until around 12:00.
*The email is sent automatically by the system, so if it does not reach your inbox, check your spam folder or trash folder.
*If you check the above, and still cannot find the email, please inquire to Toracon.
Have my preparations for starting been completed?
Once the contract has been concluded, preparation for starting activities will be carried out as necessary.
Basically, Toracon do not contact our members, including in regard to their self-introduction (self-PR), so we encourage you to log in and check your profile and introduction section first.
*If your profile information is wrong or you need to correct your self-introduction, contact your advisor via “email or the contact BOX.
Will you confirm my payment is received?
Normally we will not contact you provided that your payment is sent on time.
For this reason, if you require confirmation, you should contact us by email or telephone.
2. Searching for a matching partner
Let’s use “member search!”
Once your activities start, you can begin by searching for a potential partner using “Member search”
Put your preferences into the search box and look for somebody you might like to matchmake with.
*Frequently asked questions and things to note!!*
・In general terms, once you apply it is not possible to cancel, so take care when applying!
(Canceling a matchmaking meeting after it has been confirmed will incur a penalty fee.)
・When you apply for a meeting with somebody far away from you, in principle, the side making the application will need to travel to the desired location of the other party! Be aware of the area in which your potential partner is living!
・If you receive an application for a meeting, it is good manners to respond within one week! (If the high number of applications you are receiving is becoming a problem, feel free to discuss this with a counselor!)
・If you apply for meetings with a lot of people at once they may all be accepted at the same time and you will be over capacity. Be aware of your own schedule when making applications! (Basically, you should look to have the meeting within one week of being accepted, and it is a rule that this must be done within one month.)
・What is the appropriate frequency for matchmaking and pre-dating?
5 meetings a month ▶ a little too many (calculate based on approximately one meeting per week)
Pre-dating ▶ around 2 or 3 is most common (dating with pre-dating counterpart once per week)
You should form your schedule based on the above guidelines.
This depends on the number of requests you receive, so if you wish to schedule more than 5 matchmaking meetings or feel anxious about your number of your meetings, feel free to consult with your advisor.
*It is easy to panic as soon as something unexpected happens, which is why you have an advisor. Be sure to consult with them.
3. Decide the matchmaking date/time and location!
Matchmaking adjustment
If you are accepted by the person you apply to or you accept the person who applies for a meeting with you,
this means matchmaking is complete, and you will start the matchmaking adjustment process!!
Once the adjustment starts, decide the matchmaking date/time and location to meet.
[POINT 1] Request when notifying the schedule for matchmaking
If the schedule for matchmaking is too tight, then adjusting this becomes difficult. If you notify the desired date/time at least four days in advance, you will be able to determine your matchmaking day more smoothly.
[POINT 2] Priority when adjusting matchmaking
The party receiving the matchmaking request has the priority to decide on the date and location of the meeting. If you are the one who made the request, it is not acceptable to specify, “Please make it on [Month, Day]” or “Please choose [Store Name].”(If the receiving party gives consideration to the other person’s preferences as well, this leaves a good impression).
If you let us know your preferred area or station name in rough terms, “Toracon” can propose the name of a lounge or restaurant where you can have the matchmaking meeting.
*Depending on the area, there may be no places suitable for matchmaking meetings, in which case we will ask you for your next preference.
[POINT 3] Method of contact for matchmaking adjustments
You can check the “Activity Status” of matchmaking meetings that are being adjusted!
Use the comment tool for each matchmaking adjustment located in the “Activity Status” section for communications regarding matchmaking adjustments.
*Communication from other tools (emails, contact box, etc.) may cause scheduling delays, so please refrain from using these.
[POINT 4] Rules after fixing matchmaking meetings
Note that once the date of the matchmaking meeting is “fixed”, in principle, the schedule and location cannot be changed.
Additionally, canceling after fixing matchmaking meetings will make you liable for a penalty, so we would recommend avoiding this when at all possible.
《Cancellation Fees》
Cancellation the day before : ¥10,000 (including tax)
Cancellation on the same day : ¥20,000 (including tax)
*Note that even if you cancel on the day before your meeting, it is possible that depending on the time of day or status of the other person, that it will be treated as a same-day cancel.
If meeting on the fixed date becomes inconvenient for you, please contact us by telephone as soon as possible.
[POINT 5] Reserving the matchmaking meeting venues
Toracon will only propose a meeting place for your matchmaking meeting.
For that reason, we cannot accept requests for booking the venue.
Please understand in advance that you will need to handle the booking yourself.
We can also propose locations in front of stores that can be reserved, so if you have any requests, please let us know through the comment tool.
*However, please note that when this is very close to the matchmaking date (when it is less than 2 weeks) or when hotel lounges are extremely busy, such as Christmas or Valentines Day, it may not be possible to make a reservation.
*There may be cases when the other party is prepared to make the reservation for you.
We will notify you through the comment tool at that time.
[POINT 6] Regarding multiple matchmaking meetings
In case you are scheduling multiple matchmaking meetings on the same day, be sure to put a note saying “Same day as another meeting” in the comment tool.
[POINT 7] Rules when there are two or more matchmaking meetings on the same day
・When having two or more face-to-face meetings on the same day, in consideration of the travel time and possibility that the previous meeting will be prolonged, at “Toracon,” we propose leaving a two-hour gap from the scheduled end of the first matchmaking meeting.
*In the case online matchmaking meetings, we propose leaving a one-hour gap from the scheduled end of the first matchmaking meeting.
*The matchmaking meeting is set for one hour.
[POINT 8] How to proceed with online matchmaking
The process of matchmaking meetings is basically conducted face-to-face.
Therefore, requests for online meetings, such as ‘I prefer online because my partner is far away,’ cannot be accommodated after agreeing to a matchmaking meeting.
In principle, online matchmaking meetings can only take place when both parties have the availability option set to “available” in their profiles.
If you wish to have an online matchmaking meeting, please be sure to contact your advisor.
When the above conditions are met, the person receiving the application is free to choose between a face-to-face or online matchmaking meeting.
*When this condition is not met, a face-to-face meeting will be arranged , so make sure you check the profile when applying or receiving an application for a meeting!
[POINT 9] Rules regarding online matchmaking meetings
At Toracon, there are set times during which this can take place online.
If you receive an application and the other party express a desire for an online matchmaking meeting, please select a time convenient for you from among the following.
Weekends “11:00, 13:00, 15:00, 17:00”
Weekdays “11:00, 13:00, 15:00, 17:00, 19:00”
*As, in principle, adjustments occur based on the rules of the receiving side agency, if the other party belongs to a different agency and is receiving the application for a meeting, times outside those described above may be suggested.
4. Go to your matchmaking meeting!
About your personal grooming
On the day of your matchmaking meeting, you do not necessarily need to wear the same clothes as you did in your profile picture.
*However, bear in mind that the other party has decided to have a meeting with you based on your profile picture.
Having the same hair style and similar attire to your profile picture will increase your chances of success.
If nearly a year has passed since your photos were taken, it may be worth considering retaking them. (If you’re unsure, feel free to consult your advisor.)
Personal Grooming [For Men]
The sense of cleanliness for men and women slightly differs.
1. Hair style
Short hairstyle
A neat, shorter hairstyle is better than long hair!
Long hair can sometimes appear somewhat unkempt, depending on the situation.
Bed Hair
Don’t forget to do a final check for bed hair!
2. Clothing
If you’re meeting at a hotel lounge, there is often a dress code, so a suit is a must.
Jacket
In the summer, you may not need to wear a jacket due to Cool Biz, but you should still bring one. Hang the jacket you bring on the back of your chair.
Dress Shirt
Wearing a long-sleeve dress shirt with a tie is essential, even in summer. If it gets too hot, neatly roll up your sleeves to avoid heatstroke.
Shoes
Leather shoes are mandatory. Please polish them the night before.
3. Facial Hair
Beard
Be sure to shave. Stubble is absolutely unacceptable!
Eyebrows
Trim your eyebrows as well. If you’re unsure of the best shape for you, it’s recommended to consult a professional.
Nose Hair
Don’t forget to check for nose hair.
4. Smell
Being rejected due to odor (bad breath, body odor, etc.) is quite common, so be mindful.
Tobacco
The smell of tobacco is out of the question! If you are a smoker, make sure to have your suit dry-cleaned in advance.
Bad Breath
Bad breath can be difficult to notice on your own. Be cautious.
Perfume
Strong perfume is a no-go.
Body Odor
Pay particular attention to body odor in the summer. Using unscented sweat-wiping sheets is recommended.
5. Shoulders
In the fall and winter, dry air can exacerbate dandruff and hair shedding, so be sure to check for any flakes on your suit shoulders. Bringing a portable lint brush is advisable.
6. Fingertips
Make sure your nails are trimmed and clean before heading out. The ideal nail length should be barely visible from the palm side. Rough, jagged nails and hangnails are more noticeable than you might think, so take care of them as well for best results.
Personal Grooming [For Women]
A natural look is recommended.
1. Hairstyle
Soft, voluminous hair often creates a gentle impression.
2. Clothing
Brightly colored blouses or knitwear paired with skirts or dresses
When meeting at a hotel lounge, a dress code is often in place, so brightly colored blouses or knitwear paired with skirts or dresses are recommended. Avoid skirts or dresses that are too short.
Colors
Recommended colors are white, soft pink, yellow, and blue.
Shoes
Choose shoes with a slight heel for a leg-lengthening effect, but make sure they are comfortable to walk in.
3. Makeup
Natural makeup
Avoid heavy makeup and going bare-faced for matchmaking meetings. The recommended choice is natural makeup. For nails, natural colors like beige or pink are suggested.
4. Fragrance
Strong perfumes are not suitable. Recommended scents include classic floral or soap fragrances.
The matchmaking meeting process
Flow of a Matchmaking Meeting [For Men]
1. Arriving at the Venue
If there is no prior reservation, arrive at the venue 30-40 minutes before the meeting time to secure seating. If the confirmation screen only indicates “Meet in front of the store” or “Meet in the lobby” without “Reserved (Meet at the seat),” there is no reservation for a seat.
2. Meeting the Partner
Ten minutes before the meeting time, leave a personal item like a handkerchief at your seat and proceed to the meeting point to smoothly escort your partner to your table. If you arrive early and the staff has shown you to a seat, it’s fine to order a drink. In such a case, arrange for the staff to remove your cup ten minutes before the meeting time.
3. Conversation
Once seated together, order drinks and enjoy a conversation for about an hour. While it’s generally just drinks, it’s fine for the man to suggest having something sweet. Keep a cheerful demeanor with smiles, nods, and noticeable reactions. Demonstrating that “I am interested in you!” is of utmost importance. Even if the conversation is enjoyable, aim to conclude within the hour.
4. Payment
It is customary for the man to pay for the tea during the matchmaking meeting.
Flow of a Matchmaking Meeting [For Women]
1. Arriving at the Meeting Point
Aim to arrive at the meeting point about 10 minutes before the scheduled time. When you spot your partner, the man will likely greet you by saying, “My name is ●●. Are you ▲▲? ” Please respond clearly with a smile.
2. During the Conversation
Once seated, order drinks, or drinks and dessert, and engage in pleasant conversation for about an hour. (Exceeding this time too much may not leave a good impression.) Keep a cheerful demeanor, and focus on eye contact, nodding, empathy, and showing interest. During the conversation, strive to notice the positive qualities of your partner. Even if you feel the chemistry isn’t right, displaying a negative attitude is considered impolite.
3. Expressing Gratitude for the Tea
It is customary for the man to pay for the tea during the matchmaking meeting. However, women should not take this for granted. Always express your gratitude by saying, “Thank you for today. I had a wonderful time.”
*Things to pay attention to on the day of the matchmaking meeting
・Any urgent communications regarding the matchmaking should be done by telephone!!!!
(if a message is sent using the comments, this may not be seen until after the matchmaking meeting is over…be sure to call…!)
Notification for Being Late Within 15 Minutes
On the day of the matchmaking meeting, please use the emergency contact function, which is available only on the day, to inform your partner and apologize for being late.
Notification for Being Late Over 15 Minutes or Cancelling on the Day
Please be sure to contact Toracon by phone and provide detailed information about the situation.
The location specified by the matchmaking coordination staff is the designated meeting place. Therefore, during busy times, it’s acceptable for both parties to decide to change the venue. However, it’s better to wait at the designated meeting place and, after meeting your partner, proceed to the new location.
NG Questions During the Matchmaking Meeting!
- Do not ask your partner about their current or past dating and matchmaking experiences.
- Do not abruptly check your cell phone. If there is an unavoidable situation, inform your partner.
5. After your matchmaking meeting
Matchmaking results report
Please reply with “desire relationship” or “do not desire relationship” on the same screen as you adjusted matchmaking by 13:00 on the day after your matchmaking meeting.
・If you are unsure how to reply, but feel “you would like to meet again and have dinner for a couple of hours,” it is better to reply that you desire a relationship! (The time to speak at the time of matchmaking is limited, so it is possible that you will not have time to speak in depth or get to know the other person. Simply refusing at this point can be a waste of an opportunity.)
・If you do not desire to take the relationship further, reporting the reason may be useful feedback for the other party in their future activities, so please include this if possible.
・When it comes to exchanging contact information after the relationship is established, there may be a time lag due to the time taken for the procedures taken by the other party. (As this goes through the agency of the other party, it may only be provided on the following day)
*Communicating at an early stage is the secret to success!
If the other party is unsure how to take things moving forward, making contact at an early stage may be an effective way of getting them to accept.
6. If you start dating
Make the first call!
After establishing the relationship and exchanging contact information, the man should reach out and make contact within one or two days. In the absence of any special instructions or prior arrangement, the typical time for the first call is between 20:00 and 21:00.
(If you have a preference for the first call time, please let us know in the comments)
For the first call, it is best to stick to the two items of “thanking them for agreeing to the relationship” and “arranging the next date + α.” Although it depends on the atmosphere between the two of you, generally speaking, it is not good to speak for too long!
Use the time of the first call to discuss the method of communicating in future, such as by exchanging LINE details or using the “Safe talk” feature.
*If the lady does not answer the phone during the first call, request them to call back.
Plans to meet a dating partner
Basically, you should arrange to meet again within the next week. If you are busy, this can just be casually for an hour for dinner or coffee in the evening.
*Meeting again right away is the secret to success. If you delay the meeting too long, feelings may fade even if you both want to meet again.
7. Start dating!
What is pre-dating and serious dating?
The stage of shifting to a relationship when the both of you desire to date is called “pre-dating!”
“Pre-dating”: Relationship that goes beyond friends but falls short of a romantic relationship. During this period, there is no problem with you having meetings with or applying for meetings with other people. (Ideally, this should be limited to four dates a month)
*Once a relationship is established, you must meet (go on a date) at least once. If you feel that “continuing the relationship is difficult,” one date is mandatory, but after that, you can consult with your counselor and decide to “end the relationship.
*Although basically there is no restriction on the number of people, it is considered appropriate to keep the number of people you are simultaneously dating to 2 or 3 people! Too many may cause anxiety and limit the time you can spend meeting each person.
If you think, “I would like to date this person with serious thoughts of marriage”…
Consult with your advisor and have the other person make a ‘serious relationship proposal’ =this is a stage just short of a formal proposal, in which you show a serious commitment based on the premise of marriage.
If the other person accepts, your status will be upgraded to “serious dating”!
Serious dating
This will be the period when you are seriously dating one person, so you will not be able to arrange matchmaking meetings, make applications, or date with others during this time. During this period, you can make sure you are fully prepared by aligning your views on marriage and relationships and meeting each other’s parents!
If, on the contrary, you feel “continuing dating would be difficult” during “pre-dating,” although one date is mandatory, you can consult with a counselor after that and “end the relationship.”
Serious dating timing
It is most common to move to the serious dating phase from the third date.
Consult with your advisor after the second date or before the third date.
*Of course, if you are not interested in continuing the relationship, there is no need to do so.
Please feel free to discuss your feelings about this with the advisor.
!!Important!!
The time from starting dating to successful matchmaking is three months in principle, and six months at the most! (That is three months in principle and up to six months for the whole process from pre-dating, serious dating, and successful match!!)
If, unfortunately, you need to end the relationship, promptly delete the contact information and call history with the other person, and never make any further contact with them. Also if the other person contacts you to end the relationship, they will contact you using the comment tool, so please check this. (Method of confirmation: “Activity status”–>”Application made or received”–>”Unsuccessful matches” – “Management screen” for the relevant person)
You should avoid lending to or borrowing things from the other party until you have both withdrawn following a successful match. Please understand that we cannot get involved in recovering loaned items.
8. The correct way to proceed with matchmaking
Consultations with your advisor
Pre-dating
When it comes the time for pre-dating, there is a date reporting function in the system. Actively report about your dates to the advisor.
・Those who report regularly are said to have three times the success rate of those who do not. (This is based on IBJ system reports from January to June 2019)
Romance and matchmaking are not the same thing. Even if you have romantic experience yourself, you should utilize the advice from our matchmaking professionals.（The things people look for in a partner may differ between a romantic relationship and a marriage partner depending on the criteria.)
・If there are things that you find it hard to talk about, you should discuss even the smallest matters with us. However, there may be times when you find it difficult to accept our advice. If you calmly explain why you cannot accept the advice in such circumstances, the advisor may be able to suggest an alternative strategy.
*When looking for a marriage partner, having the correct mindset is very important. Avoid simply doing what you are told to do even if you are not convinced it is the right thing to do. Being able to think critically will be very important for couples once they are married, so it is better to learn how to do it at this stage.
Matchmaking fatigue
●Looking for a marriage partner requires a lot of energy.
You will succeed quickly if everything is fun from start to finish, but things rarely go so smoothly
Be sure to consult with us rather than bottling things up inside.
●You shouldn’t just assume things will not work out
Ask your advisor why things are not going well
*You can check with your advisor about the reason for being rejected for your matchmaking meeting application/matchmaking partner/pre-dating partner.
●It is important to take a breather sometimes=>If your schedule is full of nothing but matchmaking, you can lack perspective and things can be very tiring. You should arrange at least one or two days a month when you are not going on matchmaking meetings.
9. Cases where a penalty may be incurred, and how to pay it
(Case 1) If you cancel the relationship once it is already established
If for any reason you cancel a matchmaking meeting once it is established (*), you will need to pay a penalty of 10,000 yen (inclusive of tax).
*If you reply “OK” after receiving an application, then the matchmaking meeting is considered to be established at that time. (This is the case even if the schedule for the matchmaking meeting has not yet been set.)
(Case 2) If you cancel the matchmaking on the day of the meeting
If for any reason you cancel a matchmaking meeting once it is established (*), and the cancellation occurs after the close of business hours of Toracon the day before the meeting or on the day of the meeting, you will need to pay a penalty of 20,000 yen (inclusive of tax.)
(Case 3) If you cancel the dating without going on any dates once it has been agreed
In case, after a matchmaking meeting, both parties express a desire to continue and pre-dating is established, but a notice to end the relationship is received before a date(*) is held, you will need to pay a penalty fee of 20,000 yen (inclusive of tax).
(*) In the case of online dating, the question of whether or not it counts as ‘one date’ is at the discretion of the other party’s agency, so we recommend meeting in person within 1 to 2 weeks after a provisional relationship is established.
(Case 4) If you decide to take a break or withdraw despite having a scheduled matchmaking meeting or being in the dating phase.
If you request to take a break or decide to withdraw, and there are any circumstances pertaining to cases 1 through 3 above, you will be liable to pay a penalty (10,000 yen (inclusive of tax) or 20,000 yen (inclusive of tax)) for each relevant case.
(Case 5) When it is determined, after mid-term withdrawal, that the success conditions were met
If, after you withdraw midway, and it is confirmed later that the criteria for success with somebody you met during your activities was met, you will need to pay a penalty equivalent to the fee for successful matchmaking.
Regarding the method of paying the penalty
As it is necessary to pay the fee immediately to the agency of the other party, please pay this by “bank transfer.”
In case a penalty is incurred, we will notify you of the target transfer account and deadline for payment, so please make arrangements for payment as quickly as possible.
Basically…
In order to avoid the cases mentioned above, we would request that you act in a way that prevents there being a financial burden on you or that inconveniences the other party or their agency.
10. Other Important Notes
Regarding SNS
Information about your activities could lead to personal identification, so posting or uploading on social media, regardless of whether it’s your own or someone else’s, is prohibited. Additionally, please refrain from sharing this information with family and friends.